i think i have two assholes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
