she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
