Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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