Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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