I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
