when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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