we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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