my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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