i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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