I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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