wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
