he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
