Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
