So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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