She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Enjoy the penises
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
