Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
