Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
