Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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