You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
