he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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