end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
