ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
