I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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