I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
