hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
