I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
