do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
