I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
