dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
