Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
