dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
