When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Someone signed my nipple.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
