Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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