Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
