he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
