Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
