you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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