Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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