her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
