We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
