btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
