Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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