The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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