Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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