North Korea, Best Korea!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
