it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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