Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
