What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
