I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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