He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
