last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
