The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
