Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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