the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
