she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
