OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
