is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
