when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
